My first blog..oh my goodness!

 Okay so here it is my very first blog. I can't believe I'm doing this but I have to say I'm very excited about it. I have been asked by many people to tell them more about my journey with cancer and how God is working in my life. It has been an honor to be asked to do so but, honestly, I really didn't want to talk about the cancer. I don't want to make it the center of my life. Undeniably it has become a very significant part of my life but I'm trying not to make it the center. So here it goes a little about the cancer, a lot about my walk with God all mixed together with a little "Trish humor" to liven it up. We don't want this to become one of those gift card commercials where we're crying with the tissue box after only 30 seconds of reading. Life is hard enough this is about laughing while we get chemotherapy just so the person sitting next to you will smile through their own nervousness.


First a disclaimer: I am a nurse. I admit I have terrible grammar and spelling. Writing notes on patients is a lot different than a blog. It’s quick, fast, dirty and to the point. Okay maybe not so different but please excuse the occasional mis-spell or lost coma. There seems to be no spell check with this either so I will do my best.

PLEASE STAND BY FOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES..........

Sorry about that. That is how far I would have gotten yesterday had I not been interrupted so rudely by the fact that I could not breathe. You see I was getting my new chemo, Doxil. All was going well I had gotten my pre-meds and was set up in my chemo lounge chair with computer in hand, purple prayer shawl loving wrapped around my shoulders and diet coke on my side table as the strange orangie-red, kool-aid looking substance dripped into me. After a few minutes I started to feel nauseated and began to think the Wendy's Jr cheeseburger for lunch was not such a good idea. This was quickly followed by a strong pressure on my chest, swelling to my neck and face which was now bright red and an intense pain to my lower back. What breath I could find I yelled out to my nurse who came running over followed by a gaggle of at least a half a dozen more. I was going into anaphylactic shock. For those non-medicals I was having a very bad allergic reaction, I could not breathe. Now here’s the best part after stopping the infusion and getting me loaded up on steroids, oxygen and Benadryl the doctor covering for my doctor asked me,

       "Would you like to try that again, we'll slow down the rate and watch you very carefully?"

The wonders of modern medicine. Yes, he really did ask this and yes this IS normal practice. So we did and after 25 minutes once again, this time in major slow motion, it happened again. So what did the doctor say next?

      "I guess you’re allergic to Doxil, we can rule that one out."

Really, I want to try it again. Three strikes then you’re out! In the literature for Doxil which I read at least a hundred times stated only 1% of the patients that receive this medicine will have an allergic reaction. Congratulations you have just met the 1%!  Oh, my goodness, you just don't know.

So it appears that my very first blog NOT about cancer has become just that. But wait there’s more. I felt so much of God's presence with me. The nurses took very good care of me. My reaction did not last long and was not detrimental. The doctor was patient, attentive and understanding (even if he was a little slow about me being allergic to Doxil). I came through it just fine. I am concerned with what treatment is next for me and what lovely side effects I will get to look forward to. I am learning to be patient and wait and trust in God. I am also learning to trust my doctor. You would think after 34 years of having arthritis and 15 years of being a nurse it would be second nature for me follow my doctors’ lead. Guess again. This day I wanted nothing more than to follow him. The doctor covering for him gave me an option. For the first time (surprise to some of you) I had no opinion. I wanted to know what Dr. Puls wanted to do. This is a big step for me and if this little episode taught me just this, what a great lesson.

As I have said I don’t know what’s next with my treatment this I do know. I have to pay taxes, I will someday die and God knows what he is doing he has it all planned out-plans to take care of me, not abandon me, plans to give me the future I hope for. When I call on him, when I come and pray to him, he always listens, he is always with me.

Cancer has given me new glasses. I have always said, “I’ll do it when the storm passes, when I get off of work, when the debts are paid and the weight is lost.”

My cancer glasses are teaching me to dance in the rain, its okay to leave work early, the debt and the weight will come off on their time. It’s now time to enjoy the climb not focus on what’s on top of the mountain.

So my friends that is all my infinite wisdom for my first blog. Hopefully it will get better. Next time you see a puddle jump in with your good shoes on! We only have so much time here, so let’s enjoy the climb!